This post is written by Allyson M. Howell and is published as a companion to Unit 13, Session 1 of The Gospel Project for Adults Vol. 5 (Fall 2022): From Rebellion to Exile.
Augustine of Hippo wrote in his work On Christian Doctrine:
“But living a just and holy life requires one to be capable of an objective and impartial evaluation of things: to love things, that is to say, in the right order, so that you do not love what is not to be loved, or fail to love what is to be loved, or have a greater love for what should be loved less, or an equal love for things that should be loved less or more, or a lesser or greater love for things that should be loved equally.” (On Christian Doctrine, I.27-28)
What do you love the most? You may say the Sunday-school answer, “Jesus” before you can really stop to evaluate this.
Our Imperfect Love
Christians want to love God more than they love themselves or anything else, but the reality is that we are sinful humans. We are imperfect at loving. We often let self-protection or pleasure direct our love more than anything else.
Much like King Jeroboam in 1 Kings 12:27, we let our fear and doubt and selfishness have the last say. This king did not love God or the people of his kingdom more than he loved himself. He chose to set up an altar in a forbidden place and created idols for the people to worship, all in the name of protecting himself.
Maybe you are afraid of your sin being exposed, so you isolate yourself and cover up your secrets so that others think of you highly. Maybe you are worried about losing a relationship with someone, even though you have crossed lines with each other and are not walking in holiness. Or maybe you are gossiping to others about your friends because you want to seem like you have intel on what is going on in your social circles.
Worldly Loves
All of these sins and every other sin you can think of is a result of disordered love. If you hide your sin, you likely love your sin and your reputation more than you love God and his forgiveness. If you hold on to an unhealthy relationship, you likely love pleasure or companionship more than you love holiness and purity. If you speak gossip or slanderous statements to others, you likely love drama or being “in the know” more than you love building up your brothers and sisters with your words.
Even more, do you love your job more than your spouse? Do you love your possessions more than your friends? Do you love your money more than your children? Disordered love is not just about your relationship with God, but also your relationships with others.
Ordering Our Loves Correctly
We must do the work of ordering our loves. We can start by writing out everything we love, and then rank it by what we spend the most time doing or who we spend the most time with or what we spend the most time thinking about. Then, we can rank these loves in order of importance as laid out in Scripture. This practice can often be helpful to reveal what we truly love.
This is not an overnight practice. Putting our loves back in order requires time and commitment. It also requires accountability. Asking others to tell us if we love something more or less than we should is another helpful evaluative tool.
Allyson M. Howell is an event planner and content creator for The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. She holds an MDiv from Midwestern Seminary. Allyson is a member and the deacon of Women’s Ministry at Wornall Road Baptist Church and lives in Kansas City, Missouri, with her husband, Randy.